I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
