No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
