You're my little dorito
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Randomize
