let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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