I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You can't special order awesome
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
