I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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