Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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