Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
