I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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