Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
