does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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