remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
