If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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