Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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