dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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