**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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