I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
