I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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