Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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