Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I would fuck him just for his dog
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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