i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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