I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Randomize
