I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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