Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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