Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
