Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
