So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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