Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
