Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
