Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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