my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
This girl is more easily done than said...
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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