The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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