i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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