It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The best revenge is premature balding
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
