That's intense
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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