From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just invented taco cereal.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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