you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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