"it" just moved
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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