a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Are we still banned from the library?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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