Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
