i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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