Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
