Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
