I miss vodka workout Fridays
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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