'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
