Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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