Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
