I think im going to throw up on grandma
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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