I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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