I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
