Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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